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The Vital Dimension of Sex: Sexuality and Spiritualityby
Rusty Wright
Powerful emotional factors can make it difficult for singles to wait or to stop. A longing to be close to someone or a yearning to express love can generate intense desires for physical intimacy. Many singles today want to wait but lack inner strength or self esteem. They may fear losing love if they postpone sex.
Often sex brings emptiness rather than the wholeness people seek through it. As one T.V. producer told me, "Frankly, I think the sexual revolution has backfired in our faces. It's degrading to be treated like a piece of meat." The previous night her lover had justified his decision to sleep around by telling her, "There's plenty of me for everyone." What I suspect he meant was, "There's plenty of everyone for me." She felt betrayed and alone.
I explained to her and to her T.V. audience that sexuality also involves the spiritual. One wise spiritual teacher understood our loneliness and longings for love. He recognized human emotional needs for esteem, acceptance and wholeness and offered a plan to meet them. He promises unconditional love to all who ask (John 3:16, 13:34-35, 17:20, 23, 26; 1 John 4:7-21, 5:14 -15). Once we know we're loved and accepted, we can have greater security to be vulnerable in relationships and new inner strength to make wise choices for safe living (Acts 1:8; Ephesians 5:18; Galatians 5:16-24; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
This teacher said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free" (John 8:32 NASB). Millions attest to the safety and security he can provide in relationships. His name, of course, is Jesus of Nazareth. I placed my faith in him personally my freshman year in college. Though I had been a skeptic, he forgave all my flaws. He said his own death and resurrection -- once I accepted his pardon -- erased my guilt (Luke 24:44-47; Colossians 2:12-14). That was great news!
Marriage with Jesus involved can be like a triangle with God on the top and the two spouses at the bottom corners. As each partner grows closer to God, they also grow closer to each other. Life doesn't become perfect, but God's friendship can bring a vital dimension to any relationship.
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Rusty Wright is an award-winning author, syndicated columnist and university lecturer with Probe.org who has spoken on six continents. He holds Bachelor of Science (psychology) and Master of Theology degrees from Duke and Oxford universities, respectively. This article is adapted with permission from Rusty Wright, "Cool Stuff About Love and Sex," The Plain Truth, January/February 2004, pp. 17-19. © 2004 Rusty Wright.
Back to page 1 >> Looking at the purpose and timing of sex >> 1.2
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Notes:
- Parts of this article are adapted from Rusty Wright, “Dynamic Sex: Unlocking the Secret to Love,” Every Student’s Choice, 1996, www.probe.org/docs/dynamicsex.html; and Rusty Wright, “Safe Sex?,” Cross & Crescent LXXXI:4, Winter 1994-95, pp. 19-21, www.probe.org/rusty/docs/safesex.html.
- Kathleen Kelleher, “Entertaining Fantasies? Don’t Worry, Everyone’s Doing It,” Los Angeles Times, August 15, 1995. She cites Harold Leitenberg of the University of Vermont and Kris Henning, now at the University of South Carolina Medical School.
- “Faithful Nation: What American Adults and Teens Think About Faith, Morals, Religion, and Teen Pregnancy,” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, September 2001, p. 5; www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/data/pdf/keeping.pdf.
- “With One Voice 2002: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy,” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, December 2002, p. 2, 26, 27; http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/data/pdf/WOV2002_fulltext.pdf.
- Ibid., pp. 2, 22-23.
- “Teens’ Closeness With Their Mothers Linked to Delay in Initiation of Sexual Activity, Study Says,” Kaiser Daily Reproductive Health Report, September 5, 2002, http://www.kaisernetwork.org/daily_reports/print_report.cfm?DR_ID=13275&dr_cat=2. The words quoted are those of the Kaiser Report summary of what the University of Minnesota research authors communicated.
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