It's Friday night. You're sprawled comfortably on the couch.
Gals, you have a pint of Häagen-Daaz ice cream in one hand and marshmallows in the other. Casablanca is flickering on the TV screen. You've seen the movie so many times you wonder why you even bother crying.
Guys, your hands are tied up with a slice of greasy 2-for-1 pizza and a beer. It's either some sports game on TV droning in your ear, or it's your lame buddy going on about some hot actress he'll never meet.
Lucky me, you think with a hint of sarcasm. I wonder how many more Friday nights get to be as exciting as this!
Hey, lighten up -- you're not alone in your plight. For the droves of you are tired of the waiting game, just recently ditched, or simply waiting for The One, there is hope despite your singularity.
First, let's get this straight. Being single doesn't mean that you're being deprived of the best things in life. It's not a time to wait around for that perfect someone to magically walk into your life (you'll be waiting around forever then!). And neither does it give you reason to mope around and feel too sorry for yourself.
Look at the flip side. Singleness is freedom. Now is the perfect time for you to do what you couldn't otherwise do as someone's other half. You've got things no one will do for you, lessons no one will learn for you, skills no one can acquire for you. You've got all the time in the world now.
Stop dreaming about your wedding and start preparing for marriage. Marriage involves way more than just the wedding day.
That someday for marriage may be yet to come, but who says we can't practice? Never mind being the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend; what are they worth compared to being a good wife, husband or parent?
Here are only some of the many things you can do with your solo state:
- Hustle while you wait. In one way or another, all of us are gifted with something-its up to us to find out and use it. Maybe it's baking cookies, or playing the guitar, entertaining guests or riding a bike with no hands.
Don't be afraid to try new things. Dive in and make yourself useful. Bless your friends with some good deeds or bless others with some random acts of kindness.
- Practice intimacy with your friends and family. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to prove you're greatly loved. Your friends and family are right there, and the best thing about them is they won't dump you. Enjoy them now!
Besides, someday you might have a family of your own, and you can begin now to learn how to love them and share your life with them, like you would with your family someday.
And being a good friend is something that will serve you a lifetime because no matter what your marital status is, friends are a constant element of life and it wouldn't hurt anyone to learn to be a good friend.
- Practice financial responsibility. Budget, spend and save. It's easy to spend, isn't it? But we have to be money-wise --: budgeting and saving is equally essential.
Look beyond next week's expenses, plan the whole month's budget, stretch your dollar. I know someone who was given a hefty allowance -- but it was to last for an entire year!
If we can't even handle our money while we're on our own right now, how can we handle the financial responsibilities of marriage, when we manage money in conjunction with our partner for the rest of our lives?
- Practice practical life skills. These are the skills we would need when Mom and Dad won't be around to do it for us anymore.
If you haven't even tried grocery shopping (and no, swiping food from the cafeteria or buying off the snack machine doesn't count as doing groceries!)… boy, you've got work to do!
Everyday activities like planning menus, cooking meals (that are safe to eat), washing the car, and basically keeping your room, common areas and the house neatly in order are skills you'll never regret mastering.
- Practice parenthood. Being a good mother or father doesn't start when the baby is born. It's when we're still single. How? By instilling in ourselves the qualities we need to be a good parent someday.
We can practice the skills of feeding, cleaning, and much-needed patience with your cousins, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, kids we baby-sit, or any other children in our lives.
Observe Mom, Dad, or any parent you admire, and find out what it takes to be the best parent you can be.
More than likely, you won't be single forever. And sooner or later, you'll be faced with what you've been waiting for: marriage and parenthood.
But if right now you're whining and discontent with singleness, you'll likely be discontent when married. When we define our happiness by some point in the future, it'll never arrive. And if we define happiness based on what another person can do for us, we're bound to be disappointed because who can live up to our standard of a perfect partner?
Besides, marriage has its own sets of challenges and is harder than it may seem in your daydreams!
The gift of the moment is now-let's make the most of it.
Cherley is a student living with her family in the Philippines and collects "I love you" in all languages. Copyright 2001 iamnext.com May not be used without permission.
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