I entered college my freshman year with pretty much one thing on my mind: finding a girlfriend. Sure, classes were important and the activities were nice and all, but college to me was one big matchmaking game. And I was going to win.
I didn't. At least, not yet. It's been a whole year and I'm still single. This wasn't part of my plan.
THE PLAN: meet a girl at freshman orientation. Have her fall in love with me instantly and completely. Date for four years and graduate engaged. Go on to become a famous movie star to complement her busy supermodel/Miss America schedule.
Well, that hasn't happened. Yet.
So my plan failed. Something else happened to me, though. I learned a new lesson.
There are other relationships in life. Because I wasn't spending all of my time (not to mention all of my money) on one female, I could concentrate on other people: meeting new friends and finding out who they were, and finding out who I was.
Being uninvolved gives me the freedom to concentrate on many friends instead of putting all my energy into one person. This way, I'm meeting people and forming deep, life-long friendships (I'll need people to be in my wedding party anyway).
I also have the opportunity to find out who I am. Being single gives me the opportunity to figure out my own identity, my own belief system. Since I'm not so-and-so's boyfriend, my identity isn't found in being a half. That's what college is all about, isn't it? Figuring out who you are?
And when I figured out who I was, and what I believed, I found God. Rather, he found me. Looking at myself, and seeing who I was, I realized that I was empty. I struggled with fear, and loneliness. There was an emptiness inside that I was hoping a girlfriend would fill, but I knew that I ultimately needed something more.
Like God. But not just some idea or New-Age all-are-god philosophy, I needed a God who is real, who is involved and active, who created me and knows me. A God who loves me. The Bible tells us there is such a God, and he wants to have a relationship with me that is deeper than any dating relationship.
God knows me intimately and closely. He sees the flaws and loves me anyway. He is in control of my life, and has a plan for my life.
I am excited about that plan. I don't know what it looks like or where it will lead me, but I know it is better than any plan I could come up with (Who wants to date a supermodel anyway? Talk about high maintenance).
Just like with me, God created all of us to have a personal, deep relationship with him. He loves us and has an awesome plan for our lives--a unique, exciting, and individual plan.
Maybe mine will include Sarah Michelle Gellar.
John-Mark Day is a religion/ news-editorial journalism major at Texas Christian University. Copyright WSN Press, Campus Crusade for Christ, Inc., 1997-200. 1Used by permission of WSN Press and Campus Crusade for Christ. All rights reserved. WSN Press, Campus Crusade for Christ--2500, 100 Lake Hart Dr., Orlando, FL 32832 USA.
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