I got new glasses after having worn contacts for two years. I am not sure why it affects my image, but it does. For one thing, the glasses make me really look the part of the job that I recently landed as a secretary. This new position also required adjustments and additions to my wardrobe to suit me up for the role of secretary.
While pondering my new look, it occurred to me how much our self-image is defined by our external appearance. Whether we realize it or not, how we dress projects an image of who we are. And if current fashion trends offer any indication of what people think of themselves, we need to think more of ourselves.
Last time I was at the mall, I saw a store called La Senza Girl. This store is the children's version of an underwear and lingerie boutique similar to Victoria's Secret, but less glitzy. Now, I would like to ask, why do 10-year old girls need lingerie? My guess is they need the super-low cut panties to match their very low cut jeans, and the matching bras are needed, I suppose, for their semi-transparent mid-riff tops.
The media and fashion industries have heavy input into the constant redefinition of what is "cool" and "sexy." It's cool to wear low, tight jeans. It's sexy to wear these with a sports-bra, and maybe an open blouse. The starlets of the media are doing it, and if they are doing it, so should we. Right? Maybe. Or maybe not.
A girl is walking down the hall wearing a top that is practically a bra and jeans that look painted on. She has the attention of all of the guys. What is your impression of her? Be honest, now.
She dresses to impress the men around her, to draw attention to her body the way she thinks they want her to, and because wants to be attractive. While she certainly has succeeded in attracting attention, is she exuding the type of sex appeal that will attract men to her, or attract them to her body? Is she truly attractive?
I asked a few people of both genders to define "sexy" for me which yielded some revealing answers.
- Sexy is a matter of opinion.
In defining sexy, there are no rules, only preferences. One man finds eyes to be a woman's most attractive physical quality while another considers her hips or waist the most appealing. Some women like tall, dark, and handsome men; some women like smaller, blonder, even more fragile men.
Like features, opinions change from person to person.
- Sexy is a matter of personality and confidence.
A person can have a body to be envied, but without a matching personality, they are not classy. Classiness is conveyed through simple confidence.
Classically sexy people are confident in their appearance and composure. They may not necessarily be super-model beautiful or drop-dead handsome, but they possess an unshakable assuredness of their worth. They are not arrogant, but they know who they are and are secure in that knowledge.
Classically sexy people do not feel the need to bare all because they do not define their worth by how much they can attract. The skanky look described earlier comes from either too much confidence or too little.
- Sexy is a matter of heart.
True beauty and attractiveness really does come from within, but we do not acknowledge this truth deeply enough, nor do we allow this truth to permeate our actions enough. A genuinely nice person who is average-looking is far more attractive than a person with stunning physical beauty, who has no inner fire.
Sexiness needs to be more than meets the eye, because what meets the eye will fade. If there is no depth of heart and personality to give substance to outer beauty, attraction will die.
The most beautiful people in the world are the ones with whom you can talk, share deeply, discuss honestly and laugh about life, share common interests, and in short, develop lasting bonds of friendship and relationship that go beyond superficialities.
Personality does not leave as much to opinion as physical preferences do. A man named Peter wrote a letter in the first century with wise words that still apply today: "Beauty should not come from what you wear. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth."
Hannah is a recent business graduate from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Copyright 2003 iamnext.com. May not be used without permission.
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