Everyone thinks about sex.
Well, I shouldn't say everyone thinks about sex. There are those people who are dead. And then there is the 5 percent of the population who say they do not think about sex at least once a day.
Not only do people think about sex, but there's a great majority of our culture that wants to improve their sex life. Go to any magazine rack and look for an article about sex. Cosmopolitan, Details and even Reader's Digest regularly include articles on sex--how to improve your love life, make it better, more exciting.
Out of all these magazine articles, I've yet to see one that actually promises a lousy sex life. Life has taught me a few lessons about sex--good and bad. Just apply the following ideas to your own life and you, too, can have a lousy sex life.
Lousy Sex Tip #1:
Don't Communicate
Communication brings a whole lot of stuff into the relationship. You start to get to know the person more deeply, what they're like--their thoughts, feelings, desires.
Quality communication also naturally leads to an understanding of the opposite sex--something you don't want if you desire lousy sex.
Bad communication is key to bad relationships. Breakdown in communication was the No. 1 reason given for divorce in one survey. Maybe that's one reason why men and women are having such a hard time creating satisfying relationships. Misunderstandings, anger, and jealousy abound. These things happen when there's bad communication.
A good sex life just might be a consequence of good communication. Good communication might cause you to start understanding and caring about the needs of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Caring leads to whole host of other problems--respect, commitment, love, intimacy.
Good communication leads to a better environment for relationships. A better relationship makes for better sex. Stay away from communication.
Lousy Sex Tip #2:
Don't Show Respect to Your Partner
Showing respect for someone really isn't that hard to do. It's just treating someone the way you want to be treated. But if you want a lousy sex life, be inconsiderate and rude and don't pay any attention to how the other person feels.
Showing respect for another person sexually means respecting their boundaries when it comes to setting standards for sex. When we respect our boyfriend/girlfriend, we are saying they have feelings and they have value as a human.
One psychologist put it this way, "A respectful person listens to you and cares about your feelings. Anyone who would reject you just because you don't take care of his or her sexual needs is making a totally self-centered statement."
Respect also includes regard for yourself. That means you don't compromise your own standards either. Someone stated, "Don't depend on your partner to provide protection or good judgment in all sexual situations. She may put pressure on you when drunk or high or particularly horny. You need the courage to stand firm even if you are begged or threatened."
To respect yourself is to stick to your convictions. To respect your partner means you care enough to respect the boundaries of your partner.
Communication and respect--two things to avoid if your goal is still lousy sex.
Continue to page 2>> More lousy sex tips: Intimacy Tricks >>1.2.3.4
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