You Have A Girlfriend!?
The first time Ryan broke my heart is when I found that he had a girlfriend. This came as an absolute shock. He never mentioned her before.
From the amount of time we spent with each other in person or on the phone, I was sure that something special was developing between us. But from his perspective, spending time with me didn't mean he was romantically interested in me.
But to me, the time I spent with Ryan built up an emotional attachment. It was devastating to learn that my feelings for him were not reciprocated.
A Second Chance
With my emotions torn and self-esteem trampled, I decided to take a step back from Ryan. We lost contact for a year.
Then one Christmas he called me. We had a great talk and I was reminded of all the good things I saw in his character and personality.
I decided to give him a second chance as a friend. This was the beginning of the renewal of our friendship. By this time, Ryan and his previous girlfriend had broken up. He told me that he initiated the break up.
Since Ryan and I always had a strong emotional and spiritual connection, it didn't take much for me to fall for Ryan again. This second time around as our friendship grew, Ryan and I bonded emotionally. He became a close friend, and then a best friend.
What began as an unattainable relationship, developed into a strong friendship that was based on respect, admiration and mutual need for each other's emotional solace.
On An Emotional High
"Passion doesn't look beyond the moment of its existence"
- Christian Nevell Bovee
Ryan was the first man I've shared a strong emotional connection to. It was a sweet addiction. The pleasure was almost worth the risk of pain.
Ryan and I were eager to pour out our hearts to each other. It was exciting to have Ryan as my boyfriend. Our emotional intimacy developed quickly because of the frequency of our emails and phone calls. We easily emailed each other eight times a day. You could say we were slightly obsessed.
The obsessive and compulsive nature of our relationship was alarming to us. It felt so out of control. But this "out of control" feeling made it difficult to figure out my true feelings for him.
Continue to page 3 >> Making bad decisions because of unrestrained emotions 1.2.3.4
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