REASON #4: Inability to Cope with Life's Trials
Although often overlooked, an inability to cope with the inevitable trials and difficulties of life is the biggie. When couples are ill-equipped to deal with the curves life throws, the all-too-frequent response is to blame each other and end of the relationship.
I'm not referring to the minor irritations that often crop up, but to the major emotional and relational traumas that come to us all. For example, after the death of a child, more than 50 percent of the parents divorce. Loss of a job or major financial reversals are two additional traumatic events that push couples apart. Illnesses such as cancer or Alzheimers wreck relationships. And adultery and infidelity are well known for the devastation they produce.
We all hope that none of these tragedies will come our way, but somehow, sooner or later, one or more does. How can we effectively cope with these and others so that our relationships aren't shattered?
Even if you have not paid attention to anything I've written before, please consider this now. Jesus Christ said: "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, not let it be fearful... These things I have spoken to you that in me you may have peace" (John 14:27 and 16:33).
There is a reason why Prince of Peace is one of his names. When the unthinkable strikes, he wants to be there with us, putting within us his calmness. His peace is not tied to circumstances or events. It is connected to his person and power.
Yet, the sad fact is few of us are willing to give him this chance.
In other words, if we will trust and allow him to take the driver's seat of our lives (if our life was a car), he promises to link us up with God and to be there for us to generate the peace that passes our understanding. However, he will not force us to trust him. He waits for us to open our lives voluntarily. Until we do, he remains distant and separated from us, unable to address our needs, and we remain cut off from him.
One man told me recently of a major catastrophe that hit him and his family. He had been an atheist for many years, but just before the tragedy struck, he had put his trust in Christ as Saviour. In the midst of his grief and confusion, there was an overwhelming inner peace which he could not explain except for the promised presence of Jesus. It was not, he said, so much the fact that He had no painful emotions -- he did. Rather, it was the fact that, pervading every expected emotion, he had the unexpected and greater peace that passes understanding. This peace can be yours too. It can be that of your partner. It can heal and bond your relationship and keep it from being torn apart.
Continue>>Getting our heads out of the clouds... is it possible to find real unconditional love?>> 1.2.3.4.5
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