REASON #3: Self-centred Human Nature
If you've ever babysat or had a younger brother or sister, you know that the mother's maxim is true: "You never have to train children to be bad, you only have to train them to be good." Two-year-olds left to their own devices will soon find mischief, no matter how wonderful their environment.
This tendency to do our own thing does not end in elementary school. Observe your own reaction the next time you see a sign saying, "Don't throw rocks through this window." Your first impulse is immediately to look for a brick!
We all resist being told how to live. This affects our committed relationships because we are no longer completely autonomous. Another person now cares about, likes and dislikes different aspects of how we live. He or she will even criticize us and complain! We then yell, sulk, pout, criticize back, or even strike the other person.
All of this is symptomatic of our inborn self-centredness. In fact an ancient prophet named Isaiah described it. "All of us have gone astray... We have turned to our own way." This flaw colours how we feel about God. We don't want anyone, especially him, telling us what to do. This selfishness is at the root of what we call sin. We say, "God, you go your way; I'll go mine. Maybe I'll check in with you one day out of the week and maybe not, or maybe only when I'm in a tough situation, but the rest of the week or the rest of my life, bug out. I'll run my own life, thanks."
In essence, our egos assume the control centre of our lives. When our ego rubs up against our partner's, friction results, and there is unnecessary conflict.
How can this innate selfishness be overcome or modified? Well, if ever Jesus is needed, it is here. He is the only One in history who claimed to do something about the self-centredness problem. When he died on the cross, he took on himself all the sins you, me, Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun, your best friend, your girl- or boyfriend, and every other human has ever committed throughout all time.
Because Jesus was God and perfect, he could bear all of our self-centredness vicariously. He paid the penalty of death for those sins, rose from the dead, promised to come into our lives, to forgive our sins, and to begin to replace our self-centred ego with a God- (and others-) centred one. When he does this for someone, that person begins to change and to become more caring, compassionate and others-centred. The results are relationships of better quality, greater strength and longer endurance.
Without this change, couples will bicker, fight and carp with one another for stupid, superficial reasons. However, Jesus does not war against himself, so when he is in leadership of each life, there is greater harmony between individuals. I do not mean Jesus-centred people never argue; rather, their motivation and focus no longer rest in having their own way, but in Jesus' way.
Most importantly, he is our only provision for ultimate forgiveness with God. Unless we receive him, we have a sin barrier between God and us. With him, we have the hope of eternal life with God and his power and love influencing our relationships. If we ignore him, we will be separated for eternity and are left to our own feeble attempts at loving others.
Continue>>Dealing with the onslaught of life... is there hope for a peace that lasts?>> 1.2.3.4.5
Related reading:
