laughing and loving | soccer queen | university
I love to laugh!
>My senseless humor is tickled by the randomness of life. Growing up my Mother would laugh at seemingly ‘stupid’ things and no one in my family understood what was so funny. She would continue until tears were on her cheeks and…perhaps, twenty minutes later she would start laughing all over again.
>As I grew older, I realized that my Mother and I now have a "club of two" with our sense of humor! I laugh easily too, and for very simple reasons. One might wonder what is so humorous when I laugh outrageously, but I take life lightly. For example: watching a child that obviously has to go to the bathroom while he squirms and wiggles in Future Shop, but he still continues playing the ‘trial’ video game, now that makes me giggle.
>Something even as simple as itty-bitty carrot erasers in the dollar store can seem hilarious. It is especially the random quirks of individuals who appear clueless or ‘out to lunch’ at times that make me cry with laughter.
>How else could I get through the struggles of life if I couldn’t laugh at the interplay of the world’s simplicity, complexity, and irony?
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Soccer Queen
>Soccer is in my blood. I am one of those people who closes my eyes, smiles, and takes a long whiff of the smell of newly cut grass when I walk by a field.
>Perhaps it was because I wanted to be like my older brother, but at some point when I was young I wanted to play and have not been able to shake it from my bones ever since.
>There's just something about being smacked by an opponent, waking up so sore the next day that you can't even slide out of bed, the camaraderie in a group of teammates, and the feeling of the ball at my feet that has become part of me.
>Although university has put a damper on the amount of time I can play, I picture myself being an old woman, wrinkly, saggy, limping, and aged but still dragging my elderly butt around the field, making fools of the "hot shot" younger players!
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Finding a faithful companion
>A tough lesson for me to learn while at this age and in university has been staying above water during this transient time of life.
>When I first flew halfway across the country for university, I watched my adventurous self crumble when I arrived and found myself feeling lost and alone in a strange city.
>It is exciting because we have the whole world before us, new people, places, friends and experiences, but at times constancy is hard to find. If I did not have my best friend, who comes with me wherever I go, constant love from him, or his affection and encouragement, I don’t know how I would stay afloat.
>Trying to control the changes or relying on human friendships can be discouraging when things and people constantly change. This is an especially hard lesson to learn when you still don’t even know yourself very well!
>Thankfully, God is my faithful companion when friends change, get married and move away. God is my home when scenery changes with all the moving and traveling I do, and He holds the plans when my direction shifts, twists, and turns. I don't know how else I could survive with so many inconsistencies in my life!
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Struggles with Weight
>I grew up watching my mother and grandmother struggle with their weight. They were constantly dieting, watching what they ate, and determining their value by the number on the scales. At some point I was not watching them struggle with it anymore, but struggling with it myself.
>In early high school I was still very active and thus my weight was not so much a concern for me. But, later in high school when family issues came up, I started eating more to stay in control when all other things were changing, but soon food began to control me.
>University life, with the cafeteria food, less time to exercise, more time spent studying and sitting, and greater pressure to look good, caused me to have a very low self-esteem. Constantly the battle waged within me, each day I faced a greater temptation. I felt like I had no self control and would over-eat. Then I would feel guilty and ashamed of myself and then over-exercise.
>I tried everything, but my weight just became heavier and I felt hopeless to change. Finally, it became apparent that eating was not the problem. The deeper problem was my spiritual need for God and my disbelief that I was acceptable or lovable to Him or anyone else despite what I knew the Bible or others said about my worth.
>It was not until my second year of university that I finally began to trust God to help me with this problem. At this point I stopped trying to fight what I could not fight on my own. I began to realize my worth to God and others, and that I needed help outside of myself. Because of this realization, food became less interesting and satisfying and the core of me began to change. I am still the same weight as before, and occasional battles re-occur, but there is something different. I have finally realized that food is not the answer, my comfort, or my means of finding support - God is. Diets don’t work because controlling food is not the problem so controlling food is not the solution!
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Shannon talks about family hurt and living for herself 1.2.
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