spirituality and life purpose | discovering my purpose in life
Daily Spirituality:
>I think spirituality is a foundation of every aspect of our lives because it determines your moral values, your purpose and direction in life. My faith affects every part of my day to daily life -- how I relate to my classmates, how I see the field of social work, my role at university and my future.
>In one of my classes, I had to work on a group project and ended up pairing with a demanding and hard to get along with girl in the group that no one wanted to work with. Often it was really hard to take in her criticisms and pessimistic attitude. I can only say that it was only because of God that I was able to be patient but also have compassion on her.
>As I got involved in various social work jobs (working in a seniors' foster home, helping refugees transition into Canada, counselling high school kids and their families) it was eye opening to hear the problems and issues people face -- anger, child-parent struggles, rebellion, low self-esteem.
I began to realize more and more that though I could offer them good advice, give them practical help in finding a job, bring insight into their family problems -- all of this was a band-aid solution. Anger and low self-esteem can't be dealt with merely through positive thinking -- there needs to be a heart change, which only God can change.
In realizing I could only offer temporary help, I thought more about what I could offer that would help these people succeed in life and all the problems life would bring. I came to the conclusion that the most meaningful thing that I could offer is a relationship with God -- the one who has created them and who cares for their needs even more than I could or do.
>And so that has become my purpose in life, to know this God who loves me and cares for me and to share with others the love of God.
>I think we are all looking for love, acceptance, purpose and meaning in life. I've found all those things ultimately in having an close and personal relationship with God through Jesus.
Back to top
Discovering My Purpose in Life:
>Being accepted was one of the most important things in my life. I wanted to be told that I was special, that I was liked, that I was important.
The people around me (my parents, teachers, friends) placed a high value on achievement. So I sought to do well in school, to win at piano competitions, to be a "good" girl. And it worked. Every time I did well, I got noticed.
With a high value of acceptance as a top priority in my life, I wanted to do everything right. To do school right, to do piano right, to do "morality" right. But I realized at the same time that it was impossible.
>I felt like I was wearing a mask -- pretending to people around me that I was "perfect" or "near-perfect"-- but on the inside knowing that that was far from the truth.
>God was yet someone else I had to please -- besides my parents, friends... I'm sure I was told that this God loved me and cared for me but I don't know if I truly understood what that meant.
One night I was at an event with a friend, listening to a speaker that caught my attention and clarified some misconceptions I had. You see, I used to think that having a relationship with God was this: Peggy's good deeds + Peggy going to Church/praying = a relationship with God. But as the speaker spoke, one thing caught my attention. He said that nothing that we could ever do would be enough to reach God because it takes perfection. Being good doesn't erase all the bad that I've done. Being religious doesn't take away any of the bad in my life. I realized that my equation was all wrong, that God's equation was this: God's unconditional love = Jesus' death on the cross = payment for both my imperfection and my attempts at perfection so that I can experience life and intimacy with God.
As a result, that evening while I was lying in bed, I had a heart to heart talk with God -- I asked Him to forgive me for all the bad I had done and thought in my life but I also told God that I wanted to accept Jesus as the payment for my sins.
>Though I sometimes still struggle with depending on people's words of appreciation and affirmation to make me feel good about myself, knowing God has made such a difference. I'm learning that as I look to God's love and unconditional care for me to satisfy my longing to be significant, I can feel free to give to others, to serve others, with no strings attached.
Back to top
More about Peggy...
Related reading:
Copyright iamnext.com 2003. May not be reprinted without permission.
