Living with a new roommate can be an excellent experience. I have been in college for two years and have lived through both the good and the bad of roommate relationships (but mostly the good).
One key to any kind of positive relationship with your roommate is getting to know each other and communication. Have some fun together. Have lunch, do dinner, get a pizza. Do things to help you get comfortable with each other. You're going to be living together for quite a while--well, at least a semester anyway.
But, as in any relationship, conflict is certain. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Different personalities
What if my roommate:
- is really loud and talks all the time when I want more time to myself?
- says I am too talkative and wants more time away from me?
- tries to take too much authority over the room?
Different lifestyles
What if my roommate:
- blasts the music too loud?
- likes to study all the time and doesn't like my music?
- likes to party every weekend?
- doesn't like it when I party every weekend?
- has different beliefs than I do?
Different likes/dislikes
What if my roommate:
- likes TV shows or music that I don't?
- prefers a messy room?
- is neater than me?
- has friends that don't like me?
Communication is key
- Tell your roommate how you feel.
- Let your roommate know right up front if something bugs you.
- Say something positive to defuse a potentially volatile situation.
Establish respect
You should never feel uncomfortable in your own room, nor should the student who is lucky enough to live with you. Your room is your home away from home. But it's also your roommate's home, and it's important to respect that.
If you ask your roommate to keep the noise down after a certain hour or refrain from exercising their annoying habits, they will respect that request if they really care.
My first experience with a college roommate turned out to be, well, less than perfect. He seemed really cool at first, but our personalities contrasted greatly. I am very outgoing and like to have fun, as was he.
But he really enjoyed bringing parties into our room, something I wasn't too crazy about. I talked to him about it a few times and he said he would respect my request, but he did not hold true to that promise. Communication is important, but it has to work both ways.
There are a lot of different personalities out there - about six billion to be exact. Some just aren't meant to be together. Don't get down on yourself if things don't quite click right away. In cases like mine, when worse comes to worst, you do have choices.
More often than not, college roommates become excellent friends. The one thing that can mess up any living arrangement or any other kind of friendship is lack of communication. I know people who are excellent friends now and it all started when they were college roommates by luck of the draw. Maybe your experience will be the same.
Gregg Gahan is a junior at the University of Nebraska at Kearney and is majoring in journalism/news-editorial with a minor in Spanish. Copyright WSN Press, Campus Crusade for Christ, Inc., 1997-2001. Used by permission of WSN Press and Campus Crusade for Christ. All rights reserved. WSN Press, Campus Crusade for Christ--2500, 100 Lake Hart Dr., Orlando, FL 32832 USA. Used with permission.
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