Gifts. The wise men came bearing them, the Romans charitably gave them and our great- grandparents exchanged them. And yet, of all the Christmas traditions, this is the one I struggle with most. Obligation overtakes joy. Exhaustion halts blessing. And crankiness saps creativity.
What to buy for the person who has everything? Never mind the absurdity of the question. The fact is, we've all been there -- trudging through store after store in search of that elusive something.
Deep down, we know Christmas isn't really about "things." And yet, we're determined to find that perfect gift. With hundreds of stores offering billions of wares, we can't bear the thought of going home empty-handed. We must find something unique to wrap. After all, ‘tis the season.
Now, I love gifts as much as the next person. In fact, some of my fondest Christmas memories involve long-wished-for toys. Like the year I received the Baby Burps doll I so desperately wanted. For weeks, I squeezed her plastic tummy and giggled at the soft hiccuping sound she made. Or last year, when I received a food processor and tea towels. Wow, Mom, this is so great. Really, I like it. Even so, I can't escape the idea that gift-giving should involve more than traipsing miles in winter boots, doling out crumpled bills. Or as someone said, "More than buying things that people don't need."
An obvious answer to the problem is, of course, the homemade Christmas -- a kind of throw-back to the day of Laura Ingalls Wilder. I know lots of people who have tried this, and it's not a bad idea, especially for kids.
What parent wouldn't love a tin can pencil holder or hand-painted paperweight? It certainly stresses the point that meaningful gifts don't have to cost big bucks.
But on the downside, it can mean frequent trips to the craft store. And as for relieving holiday stress, I'm not convinced making present is any less of a headache that buying them – even if they are "good things."
Maybe the real problem is that we conceive of gifts as tangible -- and wrappable. Interestingly enough, the dictionary defines a gift as simply, "a thing given." It says nothing about cost, appropriateness or presentation -- only the condition of the heart. One person giving to another. That's all.
So maybe we ought to stop talking about "getting the Christmas spirit," and concentrate on merely giving it.
How? By pausing to ponder the real needs of people around us. Now it may be that the best gift you could give someone is, in fact, an object. Perhaps a winter coat, box of food or help paying the rent. But be open to seeing non-material needs as well. Needs for friendship, forgiveness, and appreciation, to name but a few. How sad that we so seldom think to give these things away as gifts. Instead, we hold them tightly, letting a sense of justice and fairness dictate who is worthy to receive. But how different the world would be if we simply gave -- not sparingly, but lavishly: not reluctantly, but eagerly.
We give when we release a grudge, are patient with a fool or speak kindly to a stranger. We give when we make time to keep a promise, seek out a forgotten friend or enter into another's sorrow. We give by baking cookies for a neighbour, offering to babysit for weary parents or spending time with a lonely person. We give when we look out for others, not ourselves.
I've often wished I had the guts to do this -- to forget what anyone might say and just give people what they really need. That I could somehow overcome my desire to exchange wrapped presents instead bring true gifts. Joy. Peace. Laughter. Happiness.
I know. I know. You're wondering how these things would look under the tree. To be honest, I'm not sure I have the answer.
All I can say is that Christmas joy isn't found in a shopping bag and the yuletide spirit isn't limited by the calendar. So give yourself away and see what happens. You may just get what you really want for Christmas.
Reprinted with permission from A Christmas Digest, 1998. To order your copy of A Christmas Digest, go to New Life Resources Four editions of A Christmas Digest are now available.
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