Tactic #1: Procrastinate
Some Twixters, including Aaron, suggest that the solution to this dilemma is delaying important decisions. The more time goes by, the readier you’ll be to make the right decision. Sounds logical, right?
Not necessarily, because waiting until “later in life” doesn’t guarantee we’ll be any more successful in our choices. Since we’re human, we’re just as likely to make mistakes at any point in our life.
It’s not by avoiding decisions, commitment, and responsibility that we become better prepared to take them on. Rather, it’s when we take risks that we become truly ready to take on bigger life challenges.
Someone compared this responsibility-tackling training to weight conditioning:
“[It] challenges our adolescent desires for freedom, autonomy, and self-fulfillment. We need that challenge to tear the old muscle and build the new —that’s the process that finally makes us [adult] men and women” (Steve Watters).
The sooner we are willing to put those “muscles” to work, the sooner we’ll be able to learn and enjoy the fulfillment and rewards that come from the promises, responsibilities, and choices we’ve committed to.
Tactic #2: Day Dream
Most twixters have a dream of where they want to arrive and who they want to be—this is very important because it’s what motivates us to get there. Not having this vision would be like setting out on a journey without a destination in mind.
Idealist
i·de·al adj. perfect, existing only in the mind, especially as one that cannot be found in real life.
According to social scientists, twixters have the highly criticized quality of being serious idealists.
An idealist is someone who pursues idea that exists only in the mind, not in reality. But, a serious idealist chases such a goal to the extreme.
There’s a fine line between healthy idealism and empty-fantasy idealism.
Healthy idealism provides drive, momentum and hope—something everybody needs in today’s broken world. While empty-fantasy idealism, can result in chasing an elusive dream—something that doesn’t exist.
Pursuits may include:
- the perfect job/career
- the perfect spouse
- the perfect home
- the perfect adventure
- the perfect social network
If you find that you’ve been searching for any of these ideals in life, you’re reading the right article. Hopefully, it will help you see that none of these ideals are available in our less-than-perfect world.
If you’ve ever felt, or are feeling, dissappointment and exasperation with the slow progress in accomplishing your future goals, you are not alone. Things don’t always happen as fast as we’d like them to. But don’t give up! Keep running.
Very few noteworthy, respected figures reached success simply by traveling from Point A to Point B; for some it was Point A to Point Q. There were many stops in between, some that might, at first, be seen as delays.
However, what may appear as an obstructive delay is actually where you need to be. We learn significant lessons during life’s “delays” that pave the road for the journey ahead.
Healthy growing means recognizing that it sometimes takes difficult mid-way learning experiences to equip us to accomplish dreams.
In closing, I'd like to share a fascinating summary I read recently of a well-known man’s disappointments. Here is a summary of the obstacle course on his road to success:
| at age 7 |
His family is forced out of their home on a legal technicality and as a child he works to support them. |
| at 9 |
His mother dies |
| at 22 |
He loses his job as a store clerk. He wants to go to law school, but his education isn’t good enough. |
| at 23 |
He goes into debt to become a partner in a small store |
| at 26 |
His business partner dies leaving him a huge debt that takes years to repay |
| at 28 |
After courting a girl for 4 years, he asks her to marry him and is rejected. |
| at 37 |
On his third try, he is elected to Congress, but 2 years later, he fails to be reelected. |
| at 41 |
His 4-year-old son dies |
| at 45 |
He runs for the Senate and loses |
| at 47 |
He fails as the vice-presidential candidate |
| at 49 |
He runs for the Senate again and loses |
| at 51 |
He is elected president of the United States |
Who was this man? His name is Abraham Lincoln, a man many consider the greatest leader the country ever had” (James Hewett).
This president endured many heartbreaks and failures before he reached his ideal, and even then it didn’t mean that troubles were over.
But all of the tough times on his journey to presidency —including losing close family members at a young age, financial hardships, and repeated political defeat, prepared him for what he would have to face as a nation’s leader.
Commitment, endurance, and Abe’s kind of persistence when encountering roadblocks is crucial to a twixter’s success.
That’s what it means to have a picture in mind of what the future should look like and be willing to pursue it whatever the cost.
By definition, commitment requires that you stick with it when it’s tempting to quit.
This is the bumpy, winding, but also exciting and adventurous road to becoming “untwixed”.
Hopefully these following guidelines will help keep you from setting yourself up for disappointment.
Keep reading to find pointers on how to be free from unrealistic, growth-impeding expectations of the future.
Learn how to take risks, explore the ordinary, and develop endurance.
Guidelines for Becoming "Untwixed"... 1.2.3.4.
Bea is an English student who by no means has the whole twixter thing figured out. She loves reading anything that's not assigned for homework, skiing, taking nature walks, and playing with Stormy, her hopelessly-untrained Siberian Husky. Copyright © iamnext.com 2005. May not be reprinted without permission.
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