How did you deal with this addiction?
I realized that the problem was not actually my spending or shopping habits. The root problem was my lack of self-confidence that motivated my materialism. I had grown up in a Christian home, but did not understood the reality of having a relationship with God. But then I began to understand I was valuable to God without having the nicest clothes. So, my perspective began to change. Did having all these things really matter? Should I be so concerned about material things like clothes? I started to think about things higher than myself and thought of what would last forever. Things like clothes didn't. I wanted to live with an eternal purpose rather than living for myself.
I had never really grasped that there was a higher purpose for living than what I was living for. Growing up in a Christian home, I knew that I was supposed to go to church on Sundays, pray and ask forgiveness for my mistakes (sins), but I didn't really get the whole picture of Christianity. In highschool I came to the point of realizing that I was either going to live life for myself or for God. Through a time of rebellion with alcohol and lots of boyfriends, God continued to intervene in my life and show up in real ways -- ways that made it impossible to deny who He truly is.
So after I decided to renew my commitment to Christ and give control of my life to him again, something neat happened. My heart changed. Christ was in my heart and began refining all the dirt in my life, one thing after another. The materialism was one of those things he wanted to clean up.
He began to show me that I was incorrectly putting my worth in my clothes and how I looked, rather than in who I was as a child of God. My purpose in life was evolving from how to be accepted and appreciated by my looks, to how to appreciate and love God. So, I returned to God and asked Him to help me with this issue. I was tired of trying to keep up and couldn't seem to battle the temptations myself.
Making a Budget
One of the things that helped me get out of this destructive lifestyle was making a budget. I didn't realize that something so simple could help me resist the temptation to overspend. So, I committed to spend only a certain amount on clothes and wouldn't spend above it. The budget helped me look at my spending habits objectively and hold myself accountable. But without the motivation to change, and without giving the struggle over to God, it would have made it much harder.
What is the difference in your life now that you have gone through this addiction?
Despite that I am free from the daily struggle of a shopping addiction with God's help, it is still a struggle at times. Sometimes, when I look at other girls who do have expensive clothes like I had, there is still a part of me that is envious. Then I realize that I now have a purpose in life that is bigger and higher than having the nicest clothes. But, whenever I go to a mall, I don't have that immediate drive anymore to spend all my money on my looks. Actually, I feel sick to my stomach even thinking about how I had craved buying clothes as I did. I gave my problem to God for him to fundamentally deal with and he changed my heart, the root of the problem.
Now I don't have to spend the rest of my life dealing with my insecurities by buying clothes. God values me and desires a relationship with me, without those things cluttering it up. I realize now that materialism had me in bondage and took away from my higher purpose in life. When I began constantly giving my struggles over to God through prayer, He helped me to see how my lifestyle and habits were self-destructive.
What have you learned from this struggle?
One of the biggest things I realized was that things we don't think are big struggles for us, often are bigger than we think. They are so difficult to deal with because you are putting something in place of where God belongs in your heart and life.
Also, I learned about freedom. We can be free from these things, even if the struggle seems impossible to get past. Just because you are in the midst of a struggle doesn't mean there isn't a way out and that you should give up. Many of us are addicted to things like food, sex, make-up, materialism, partying, drinking and we think that we can't give them to God. We think we love these things, but we don't. In the Bible it says that "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free."
In giving my struggles over to God, He became my strength. He gave me eyes to see the depravity of my situation, as He will for anyone who asks for a way out. With our own eyes we don't see the bondage we're in. But, when we look with God's eyes upon our situation, we can begin to see that there is so much more we could be living for than struggling to keep what doesn't last anyways. If you seek God, He will let you see the true picture. God has a life planned for all of us, a life which will satisfy all our deepest needs. He showed me the big picture, and I am so much more at peace. Finally I feel released from living a life in pursuit of expensive and meaningless things to gain self-confidence.
How can someone know if they struggle with this?
I think one of the biggest ways to tell if you struggle with an addiction to shopping, is by looking at your pay check. Where is the money going? What percentage is going to yourself? Even if you don’t want to admit it, it may still be a problem. Often the problem isn't actually the shopping but your self esteem. What is it that you depend on for your self esteem?
If shopping becomes something that you obsess about, then materialism may be a bigger problem than you realize. Especially if when you go into a store, you get a temporary excitement high, and you leave still feeling like you wished you had bought more. The answer is not to buy more things. If you do, this habit will begin to control you.
What advice would you give to others who struggle?
In the Bible it says, 'Do not let yourselves be burdened again with a yoke of slavery'
Galatians 5:1-2 and this verse really helped me to realize what shopping actually was. It was slavery. Without dealing with the root cause of it, (in my case it was a lack of self-esteem), you will always struggle with it. By asking God to give you His eyes on the situation, you recognize the truth of the addiction. It's not a positive thing. It's slavery and you can overcome it. Once you do overcome it, it becomes so much clearer how strong of a grip it had on you.
One time when I went shopping and bought $400.00 worth of clothes, there was one pair of pants I had bought, that I loved. They looked really good on me. I didn't even see anything wrong with spending so much on them. (the fact that I couldn't give them up in itself shows the value I put in them and that even though, yes, they are just pants, I was making them an idol in my heart). But, later I started to feel guilty and realized that I had fallen back into the same trap again. I couldn't even tell people how much I'd spent on them because I felt ashamed. I knew I had to return them because the guilt started to overwhelm me. It was as if God was asking me if I would be willing to trade the pants with Him for the better life He was offering. But I justified my purchase by telling myself, "Why give them up? They're nice!" Later, I realized how crazy this struggle had been. I couldn't believe how much power one pair of pants had over me. How is it that I fought so hard to keep one article of clothing of which has no real lasting value?
What do you life for?
Steps Towards Freedom
Once you realize just how much power materialism has over you, once your eyes are open, you will see how much you are living for yourself. One time, I went through all of my clothes and gave away about 1/2 of them to a battered women's shelter. I wanted to get rid of my habit and this was one more step to that freedom. I even gave away clothes I still wore and still loved. I wanted those women to enjoy the nice things that I had, and experience a fresh start. I kept just enough in my closet to be happy without being obsessed. It was a very cleansing experience. Sometimes when I am tempted again, I remember what a relief it was to be free from the grip of materialism, and the joy of having a true purpose in life beyond myself. I never want to go back to where I was before.
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