Has shopping become an addiction for you? See if these statements are true about you:
- I never feel like I have enough clothes
- When I see people with really nice clothes I want to have their clothes or go shopping
- I always need to have the best clothes
- When I am upset, I calm down by shopping
- I never know where all my savings go...
- I spend more money on myself than anything else. E.g. make-up, clothes, hair, etc.
- I try to find my confidence in how I look
- What people say about how I look really affects me
- I am ashamed if people see me when I'm not looking my best
Interview with a past shopping addict
A close friend and I were talking in depth one day, and she told me about a personal struggle in her past. She told me that although her desire to be attractive and fashionable was visible to others, below the surface people may not realize that it was an issue in her life. The reality of her materialism addiction became evident only when I asked her more questions and looked more closely.
You never know what someone is going through if you looked deeper beneath the surface of a person's life. Appearances are deceiving.
Here is my interview with my friend about materialism and how it affected her heart and life...
How would you define an addiction?
An addiction is something you know is wrong, but you feel like you can't stop doing it. You like it, but hate it at the same time. One minute it seems appealing, yet a moment later it makes you feel bad about yourself.
How did your particular addiction develop?
When I was quite young, I never felt beautiful. No one in my family would say out-rightly that I was beautiful. I can't remember hearing many uplifting words about my appearance ever being spoken in my home. I think because my family didn't want me to become prideful, they did not saying anything at all. Partly because of this, I had a problem with self-confidence.
At one point in school, I went through an 'ugly phase,' which didn't really help my confidence either. But, just shortly after, guys started noticing me for the first time. I got a new haircut and became very concerned about buying new clothes and make-up.
I associated looking really good with making me feel better. People noticed how I looked and so I continued buying more and more. But, the more clothes I bought, the more I didn't feel adequate enough so I would have to buy even more. The hole inside of me just grew with each purchase. The comments and approval I got from other students encouraged me to try and be the one at school who always had the best and newest clothes.
By late high school, shopping had also become an outlet. Anytime I got upset I would spend money on my appearance. All of my income went to clothes. But, it never really did make me feel better about myself, only worse.
Describe your addiction.
I always worried about what I looked like. It's not bad to be conscious about what you look like, but I was obsessed about it. Whenever I would go shopping I would walk into a store and my eyes would go huge with excitement. I craved the clothes. Even after a break-up I'd go shopping, because it was a way of making me feel good about myself. Some people buy food with all their money, but I just bought more clothes.
In the middle of temptation, I had no idea it was wrong or an addiction. During a shopping-spree high, I loved the rush of getting new clothes. I didn't see what was wrong with having so many clothes. One thing I did notice, was that the more clothes I got, the more I wanted, and the less satisfied with my old clothes I was.
When did you realize it was a problem?
At the end of high school, it became all too apparent that I had no money. I never seemed to have savings. I started to wonder where all my money was going, especially after working more than one job in high school in order to save for university. When I started to look at my spending habits, I realized that all of it was going to myself and my clothes. I couldn't believe I had so little money after working so hard. In my first year of university I still struggled with it. I remember one particular time when I bought $400.00 worth of clothes in one shopping trip. It all looked very nice on me. I didn't even think that I had spent too much! Finally, it dawned on me the reality of just how much money I was spending on myself. After that, I finally decided that I was tired of the guilt and insecurity and needed to change.
Did shopping/materialism complicate other aspects of your life?
It seemed that other people noticed that I had a problem before I did. I think it was intimidating to other people when I had such expensive clothes. They seemed to either envy me or size me up. I wanted to overcome my low self-esteem. I didn't want to intimidate others; so yes, it definitely complicated my relationships with others and my perception of myself.
How did you deal with this addiction? 1.2.
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