1. Page yourself on the intercom (don't disguise your voice).

2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits (always where them one day after your boss does). This is particularly effective if your boss is the opposite gender.

3. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

4. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

6. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.

7. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

8. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

9. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc. in the staff room. When people complain that nothing was there, lean back in your chair, rub your stomach and say, "You'll have to be faster than that!"

10. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has kicked their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

11. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

12 Dont use any punctuation

13. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.