Everyone wants one. Most people have had at least one. But every so often, some people lose one.
No, I'm not talking about the ideal partner. I'm talking about jobs.
When I search the Internet for jobs, there are listings. There are tips on how to find them, how to prepare for them and how to pick them. But what about when you lose them? I've come across few, if any articles on this topic.
Recently, I was let go from my job with a daily paper in southern Saskatchewan, Canada.
I thought I was prepared to handle the blow of the firing, but nothing prepares you for it.
It was a Monday afternoon in late December when my boss asked to see me in her office. I knew this meeting was coming as I had asked my boss for a decision on my probation status.
The past four months were like walking on eggshells at work. I was informed several times to proofread my articles more carefully. I tried my best, but it never seemed I had enough time to catch all my small errors.
"It just isn't working out," said my boss. "We appreciate your efforts, but we'll have to let you go," she said.
She then proceeded to say she was willing to be one of my references if I applied for a weekly paper. She even said I could leave work immediately after this meeting.
Suddenly, I realized beyond the loss of income, that I would no longer see my co-workers. I would lose my routine. It felt as if I failed as a journalist. It felt as if this job loss nullified my path to becoming a writer.
My eyes started to well up with tears. I thought I could put on a brave face, but the drops broke through into streams on my cheeks. I turned into a blubbering child in a matter of seconds.
"We'll let you collect yourself in here," she said after she gave me a warm hug in attempts to comfort me.
About five minutes later, I gathered the shattered bits of my pride and worked for the rest of that afternoon.
To be honest, that cry was mixed with emotions. I had an overwhelming wave of relief the probation period was finally over. But I was sad to leave people I had just come to befriend.
Learning from the experience
Since then, I've been hanging out at my parent's place, bumming around. I've been enjoying the free time to catch up on much needed sleep. And I've been evaluating what I can possibly learn from this experience by analyzing what went wrong.
My conclusion is that I jumped too quickly into a position I wasn't ready for. However, at the time I accepted the position, no one could have convinced me of that fact. I had to learn on my own what my limits are and what I need to grow professionally. Maybe a daily paper is not for me now. It took a year for me to learn that lesson.
Now I'm looking for a position that isn't with a daily so there's more time for me to develop these necessary skills.
No one likes losing a job. The only sure thing is that life will go on. If anything, I've learned more from this painful experience than I have in other jobs where I am not challenged at all.
I also thought this experience was black mark or a permanent end to my writing career. But then I realized I was deriving too much value from a job than I should.
Yes, work is important. It helps shape our identity, but it should based on something more permanent than jobs, which come and go so easily these days in this global market.
If I rely on jobs to define my personality, then what will happen when I become a retiree? Logically, I would have no value then.
Meaningful identity and value are not based on positions (which are all finite). Whether a person works as a janitor or a vice-president of a corporation shouldn't increase the value of a person.
Unfortunately, in this world, when a person loses a job may affect how their peers see that person in society. We may make initial value judgments based on their job descriptions. It's our way of putting a person in a category in our frame of reference.
However this change in employment status doesn't lessen their worth in one person's eyes - God's. He loves every person just as they are since he made them. I don't have to pretend or strive to be something I'm not. He accepts me as I am. Even though I'm without a job, I know there will be another one down the road.
In the meantime, I'm re-evaluating the career I'm currently in and taking some time to upgrade my skills in photography and in writing, things I enjoy and started this career to do in the first place. Of course, I'm looking for another job too.
Unemployment isn't the end of life. It's just the end of one job.
Jennifer found another job within three months at another newspaper and is now sad to give up the extra hours she had to watch satellite TV on her hiatus. Used with permission of author.
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